Mel Walsh

When Taste Buds Grow Old

     

            Sometimes I feel as if I’m an anthropologist explaining the Tribes of Geezerland to those with no silver hair. It helps that I am of the tribe—an insider by means of the number of candles on my birthday cake. But still, even with a degree in gerontology---the study of older people---I remain surprised by what can happen as we grow older.

When Taste Wears Out

Here’s one of the changes: People can lose some of their ability to taste and smell food. This may seem like a small thing compared to say---cancer or heart disease---but if someone loses interest in food because she can’t taste it, she may lose weight, become malnourished and shrivel up into a human dust bunny. Wouldn’t you become depressed if you couldn’t enjoy one of the enduring pleasures of life, a good meal? Life without pepperoni pizza ain’t no life at all.

And I’m not alone in valuing the pleasures of the table. When I was an ombudsman for the elderly in long-term care---trained to hear the complaints of people in assisted living and nursing homes---the number one complaint was the bland food. These assisted living folks lived in the land of oatmeal and tapioca. I ended up, not rescuing people from evil caretakers, but talking to the administrators about starting ethnic food nights---Asian, Mexican, Italian—dinners with zing instead of food for zombies.

How It Happens

What causes this loss of taste and smell? Here’s a list from Dr. Paul Takahashi of the Mayo Clinic: Nose and sinus problems---maybe allergies or sinusitis; medications such as antibiotics and blood pressure meds; mouth sores, tooth decay or poor dental hygiene; head injuries; smoking and diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

So What To Do?

If the problem is severe, work with a doc to investigate the possibilities above, but here are a few easy tips to up the taste of food. You should know them whether you are an older person or someone caring for an older person.

* Stock the pantry with spices and flavorings that can be added to dinner. And throw out the old spices that have lost their power. If you’ve been told to limit salt, there are other choices. My current favorite is Chinese Five Spice Powder which goes into pasta sauces and soups. Also good is Garam Masala, a blend of coriander, black pepper, cumin, cardamom and cinnamon. I put it into chicken, rice and fish dishes.

* Use already prepared sauces. Think curry sauce over chicken or make fish baked in foil with chutney. Ketchup and the various mustards are useful. So are soy sauce marinades, Annie’s salad dressings and even orange juice---all of which make good pre-soakers for chicken and fish.

Last, here’s my prescription: Bon appétit. 

Saying Goodbye With Grace

     

            Sometimes I write about things that are hard to talk about. I do it so that when you encounter the same hard things, you will have an easier time. And today’s topic is: visiting a friend or relative who is dying.

            It’s not easy on anyone---these visits---but here’s a refreshing perspective: one dying man---his blog name is just Bill---keeps an online journal of the process. He thinks it’s harder on the people around him than on him. Bill says ”I have really come to appreciate just how much harder it is on my family and friends than on me. They worry about saying the wrong thing or just generally upsetting me. They carry this extra burden. I don’t. Sometimes it almost seems backwards. I am the one dying, but they are the ones full of fear and worry. I want to tell them: OK. Everybody just take a deep breath and relax.”

            So let’s do as he suggests and relax. Then let us use our collective common sense. First, remember it is normal to be fearful about visiting dying relatives and friends. It’s something our culture doesn’t have much experience with, shielded as we are from dying. (Our great grandparents died at home with the family. All hours were visiting hours—children welcome.) Now dying relatives are usually whisked off to institutions, isolating us from full participation in the last meaningful life experience. So we don’t have many examples of how to behave, but here’s a one-word clue: Normally.

            Just go with the flow of the visit and follow your relative’s lead. Maybe he or she wants to revisit old times. And it’s always appropriate to tell people how much they mean to you and to thank them for who they are. In fact, it’s a good everyday habit to get into.

(I’ll start: Me, I really appreciate the readers who cut this column out and put it on their refrigerator doors. Fridge fame. Thank you.)

            Now, this same man, Bill, also says he doesn’t want the process of dying to take away from the enjoyment of the time he has left. Dying people can get tired of all the medical talk and want to talk about anything but.

Before you do visit, it’s wise to check and see if the visitee is up seeing people and to ask if there are physical limitations. For instance, maybe people vulnerable to infections should not be hugged.

            What makes the support process easier today is that family and friends are banding together in a care-giving posse, usually organized by email. One non-profit website, Caring Bridge, organizes group support in a beautiful way. Thirty million people visited the site last year, so it seems to work. Go to www.caringbridge.org/seehowitworks. There you can organize your own village to give someone you love a great goodbye.