Mel Walsh

Conventions: Once a Doubter, Now a Fan

I thought I lived in a house, but now know I was living under a rock---at least when it came to the great American institution of conventions. Until recently, all I encountered were the conventions put on by elephants and donkeys---the political conventions---which I discovered as a kid watching snowy TV pictures coming in under a set of rabbit ears.

            Viewing the vintage political conventions of both parties---well, that was when I starting doubting the intelligence of adults---all those silly hats and the cheering of feel-good speeches whose content was as light as a passing cloud. (I had a content detector even back in 6^th grade.) I thought some of the speakers made Milton Berle look like Socrates. So, back in grade school, I developed a prejudice against conventions. The behavior of conventioneering adults made me not look forward to growing up.

The Changing of a Mind

            There’s nothing like actual experience to change a mind harboring a fossil prejudice. Last week, at the national convention of the AARP in Washington, I learned there are interesting conventions, meetings where people actually learn things and come out at the end better for the experience. OK, pooped from all the walking and the over-stimulation of 30,000 new buddies, but better.

            Maybe I should get out of the house more, but I was blown away by the grandly scaled and beautiful Washington convention center. Imagine an exhibition floor as large as seven football fields and that was just the bottom floor. There were others that harbored a ballroom and a theater, meeting rooms, lounges, grand art-filled halls and most important, enough bathrooms so that one never ever had to wait. (Men may not get this, but women know the importance of no-waiting rest rooms.)

So What Was There for the Learning?

            What wasn’t there? You could learn about budget travel and retiring abroad, about foods that will keep you young, about fixing your digital photos and also about online dating, cruising in China, senior sex from Dr. Ruth in person and so much more, it would take all of today’s paper to relate. But if you wanted to find your dream job, learn about current brain research, catch up on what’s new in eye care, learn what to see in Ireland or where to take an art course in Mexico, someone was there to tell you.

            There were sections on tech---computers lined up classroom style if you wanted to learn to use one better (or at all).  Also, representatives from about every government agency you could name, plus info on Medicare literacy, financial smarts, building communities for successful aging and lots of fun stuff besides. Example: There was a three-band night club the first evening just to get people rocking and rolling, but by dinnertime all I wanted was a room service cheeseburger and bed. (If there is a late night party to poop, just ask me.)

Celebrity City

            Now, if you wanted to see Paul Simon in concert or perhaps Natalie Cole, Ramsey Lewis or Chicago, you could. Regis Philbin was there as were Shirley MacLaine, Maya Angelou, Quincy Jones and the newly famous Young@Heart Chorus, average age 81. Martina Navratilova was present to start off your morning with a fitness session and Chaka Khan was there to sing goodnight. Even Grass Valley has its reps: Both Carole Carson and I gave speeches and were interviewed by John Palmer on Retirement Living Television, though the expo was so big, Carole and I never saw each other.

 

            I did get to meet about 1,894 other people, mostly at Gallo’s Livingston Cellars booth, where, as a spokesperson, I helped introduce many Easterners to the virtues of California wine and, as an author, inflicted all who showed up with my book, Hot Granny. I also met the people who run AARP publications, so now there are faces on the masthead names that put together the magazine appearing regularly in our mailboxes.

            But, by Saturday afternoon, with a tropical storm adding its own excitements, people began tearing down the hundreds of exhibits on the Expo floor. It was as if an entire city was being dismantled. However, like Brigadoon, AARP’s National Event and Expo will rise again in 2009---this time in Las Vegas.

            So, next year, I’m saving October 22-24 for a (gulp!) convention. You can find out more at aarp.org/events or call 1-800-883-2784.

            And now I’ve got to go vacuum my office. The floor is littered with discarded opinions.

 

When the Sky Is Falling: A Simple Plan

It’s epidemic. I’ve got it. Maybe you have it too. You might be picking it up from your television set.

            What I’ve caught is a disease called crisis-itis. I made up the word, but not the symptoms. Don’t know about you---though I can guess---but I am a nervous wreck, unable to sleep, cranky as a winter bear, fatigued from a mean election process that has gone on so long, it can be measured in light years.

            And I’m also getting seasick from watching the market roll on rough seas. (There goes the 401(k), down for the third time. Is that the wreckage of my pension floating out to sea? And where does a federal government that’s in record-breaking debt get the money to rescue failing corporations? Isn’t the pot imagining the kettle is made out of gold?)

            So there you have it: my worry map and it’s probably a lot like yours, except if you are older like me, you realize that it’s impossible to work another 30 years to get back any money you may lose in the market.

            On the other hand, there is a little dark humor to the scene, including the fact that we have socialized some big finance, mortgage and insurance companies, but some are trying to keep the government from sinning its way into “socialized medicine”, aka universal health care. I can manage a weak smile over that irony, but the rest of the scene makes me wish I could go to sleep and wake only when Cranky Pants comes to the castle, kisses me and tells me it’s OK to come out. The dragons are gone.

Controlling the Stress

            Everything I’ve read about stress in the last two decades says that people who have little control over their lives suffer the most stress while those who are able to exert some force and direction are better off. Now, we can’t control the markets or the election process beyond one vote, but we can control ourselves or at least make a good try at relieving anxiety. And we should be motivated to proceed down the road towards greater calm.

            The Mayo Clinic lays out of some of the effects of stress on the body, feelings and behavior...

            Body: Headache, chest pain, pounding heart, high blood pressure, shortness of breath and problems with the gut and with sleep.

            Thoughts and feelings:  Anxiety, restlessness, worrying, irritability, depression and many more downer states.

            Behavior: Overeating, angry outbursts, drug abuse, excessive drinking, increased smoking, social withdrawal and blaming others….which I will not do, but tell me, why did you buy that bad boy mortgage?

Solutions

            There are ways out of any stress mess:

            Exercise: Walk on the sunny side of the street. Get on the treadmill like Cranky Pants. He’s on it every morning right now and his motivating trainer is named Dow Jones.

            Nature: She is always there. Got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. Stars are a bonus. So are Hubble images. Yes, those pics let you know what a tiny piece of stardust you are, but then, so is everything else that is bothering you.

            Meditation: I don’t do lotus positions, but I do lie around and think of beautiful things. Resident in my mind is one room I decorate over and over again, sometimes in mid-century modern, sometimes in French Provincial. I don’t know if your guru would approve, but it works for me.

            Massage/Water relaxation: Maybe you can’t afford a regular massage, but at least one massage will reset the body’s anxiety thermometer. A hot tub or a hot shower also relieves tension. So, instead of watching the nightly news, go sit in a hot tub. The rest of the world is in hot water. You might as well join them.

            Music: Relaxer’s choice. I like a CD of Chinese lullabies or anything by Stan Getz. Taiko drumming might do it for you.

            Friends: Spouting off to friends helps. Always has. Always will. But a little venting goes a long way. If you spend the whole time together complaining, you’ll feel worse than when you started.

            Community events: We live in a place rich in community events. The company of people having good time is an upper. At the Draft Horse Classic I found my Rx: take two Belgians and go back for more in the morning.

            The KVMR Celtic Festival is this weekend….fiddles, bagpipes, singing plus a new something called the Faerie Wood. I don’t know what that is, but I bet you can’t be in it and think about the Securities and Exchange Commission at the same time.

            

Make Your Own Village

 

Second Wind

            Some day you and I will be over the hill. And I say better over the hill than under it.

            Still, the fact is that sometime, when we are a bit more frail and doddery, we may need help to remain independent in our own homes. And if the body and energy falter, it’s helpful and sometimes necessary---to have someone do the driving, shopping, cooking, home repairs and all the other chores of life. It’s also nice when you are sick to have someone bring chicken soup and the pain pills du jour and of course the ice packs after your annual bad fall in the garden. And then there is the basic need for human contact, for pleasant company, for someone to nag and be nagged by---one way to know you are loved.

            I know, all that is what you have a mate for, but couples do not dive into Eternity in sync. It’s not a synchronized event—one always leaves earth before the other, which is a sobering thought, though it can be used to help appreciate your mate more now---absence making the heart grow fonder before the actual absence.

            What’s more, when it comes to counting on mates for help, many older people are not only widowed, but single through choice or divorce. Some are also childless or alienated from their children, so no caring kids are coming to the rescue if one does begin to falter in the life chores department.

             In yesteryear, the old folks and the young folks lived together---my widowed grammy shared my bed when she was old---but today, the middle manager son is transferred to the other coast, the daughter married and moved to Maui and the black sheep kid lives in Thailand and not for the weather. And even if the adult kids were still around within helping distance, most older people I know don’t want to be a burden.

            Like two-year-olds, we want to do it ourselves. Or maybe with a bit of help from other sources.

One New Source to the Rescue           

            So, assuming your family may not be the solution or even the one you want… and assuming you and I do not have a butler, driver, maid and handyperson on our household staff, we will need help and so will millions of other people in the US. And, mirable dictu---which means No Kidding in Latin---there is actually a solution to our needs, something that is happening quietly all over the country,

Making Your Own Extended Family

            The solution, already a reality in some places, is to invent an area support group, a “village” in your town. It means getting together a membership organization of older people that offers the following services: driving to appointments or shopping, getting the house repairs done, cleaning, help with housework, care when you’re down and out physically plus nutrition services---which often means meals delivered to the door.

            The model for this solution comes from Beacon Hill Village in Boston. The neighbors there got together and organized to help each other survive as older adults in their own homes. The Village offers household and home maintenance services, health and wellness help, including exercise opportunities. And since isolation can be a problem for older people, they also arrange small get-togethers, parties and trips as well as cultural opportunities for expanding minds and life experience. All in all, they say they want to make “remaining at home a safe, comfortable and cost-effective solution.”

            Through media exposure, people all over the US heard about Beacon Hill Village. They had so many requests for information about organizing this service for older adults that they now have a detailed handbook that covers all the how’s of starting a membership organization.

            The manual, which can be ordered by mail, phone or online offers help from the founders, the original business plan, marketing materials, fundraising letters, board and committee structures, budgets and ways to help you develop your own Beacon Village. The price for this package is $350 for non-profits and neighborhood groups or $500 for profits and municipalities.

            The web site is www.beaconhillvillage.org and the email is bhvillage@aol.com. Phone: 617-723-4117. Address: 74 Joy Street, Boston MA 02114.

            Doesn’t all this sound better than counting on Black Baa to come back from Thailand to pick up your meds at the drug store? Besides, he might make off with your pain pills.

Staying Upright

If I ever do one thing for you, let it be this: may I keep you from cracking your head or any other precious body part in a fall that could send you to bed, the ER or heaven.

            In movies and cartoons, falls are funny. Prat falls were the bread and butter of the old vaudeville comedians. But in real life, falls can stop life as you know it. The more “ordinary” changes include everything from having to rely on pain pills to get through the day to not getting anywhere at all because the hip is broken or the car-shifting arm in a sling. Big changes include being bed-ridden, unable to work or take care of yourself and, worse case, leaving the planet for Higher Places. As I write this, today’s local obits tell the sad story of an older woman who died from a fall.

            I know, I know…I’m a nag, but my own fall last winter and the fact my friends are going down like clear-cut timber is turning me into a fallevangelist.

            In my own fall I was lucky: A concussion just ruined a vacation and not a life. A CAT scan revealed that my brains had not scrambled and when I asked the doc if he saw another book inside my skull, he said yes. So, for an author, that was the one good part.

Basic Advice About Staying Safe

·      Homes: Our homes are snakepits when it comes to falls. If you have a residential choice, go for a single story or one with the master on the main floor. Get good lighting, especially on stairs. Remove little rugs that will trip you up. Put in a movement-sensitive night light for the 1 AM trips to the john. Stay off ladders. Put a non-skid mat in the tub and a safety bar over the tub. Safety bars for the bath have gotten more chic, less sterile.

·      Little Critters: Grandkids and pets can trip you. Grandkids leave their toys around on the floor. Your dog can pull you over when the leash is wrapped around your wrist and he goes dashing after a squirrel.

·      Meds: Many are the medications and med interactions that can decrease alertness, cause dizziness or just screw up your balance. Maybe your doc can switch the med or order a lower dose, but be aware of what meds can do to you. Consider asking if they are really necessary and proven effective in actual practice. (Lest you think I am too negative here, remember all the recalls of prescribed drugs that once passed FDA muster.)

·      Travel. This is my downfall. A gawker, I look up at the sights when I should be looking down at the cobblestones. Or I fail to notice that the marble floors of the museum are wet. Enough said. Get your travel radar going when you go to unfamiliar places.

·      Physical Shape: If you dance, exercise, hike and otherwise move yourself in space, you will have better control of your balance, more agility and greater muscle strength to keep it all together.     

·      Know your own vulnerabilities. It may be in the garden, on the front steps or riding your bike on rocky dirt paths. Cranky Pants’ downfall is driveway ice. Friend X’s is getting up and out of bed too fast before her blood has a chance to catch up to her brain. Mine is unfamiliar places. Know yours.

Big Doings in the World of Falls

            The local Falls Prevention Coalition has declared September 21 to 28 the week they will do everything they can to keep the people of Nevada County upright. They start with a kickoff event on Sunday, September 21 at Peace Lutheran Church, 828 West Main in Grass Valley---2:30 to 6:30 PM---offering info, entertainment and a free meal. They then proceed through the week with workshops and seminars. To register for the Sunday event or to find out more about the week, call Helpline at 530-273-2273.

            Now, remember, I don’t want to meet you in the ER, but if we do get there at the same time, I’ll be the one eating her words.

 

            

 

Mel Appearing at AARP Life @ 50+ Convention

If you are in Washington DC at the September 3-7 AARP convention, come by and see Mel Walsh. She'll be giving a talk at the Capital Presentation Stage on Thursday September 4th at 5 PM and will be videotaping in front of a live audience for Retirement Living Television (AARP's TV arm) on Saturday from 1 to 1:30 PM, being interviewed by John Palmer.

And the fun part is, as brand spokesperson, she'll be at the Livingston Cellars convention booth every afternoon from 2 to 5 PM to greet conference goers with a glass of Livingston Cellars wine. Mel would just love to share a glass of wine with you, especially when it's her favorite, Livingston Cellars Sangria. 

Booth visitors---the booth is an Airstream!---can participate in a daily raffle for an autographed copy of Mel's book, Hot Granny.

So, if you're in town, come on over. Washington Convention Center, 801 Mount Vernon Place. 

Over 50?: Pack Your Suitcase Full of Ideas

Planning---what a pain in the posterior. Why not just be in the moment? Fly by the seat of the pantsuit?

            Well, when it comes to retirement, if you go with the flow, you may end up down the drain.  It’s smart to plan for retirement and that means doing more than buying a Harley and hitting Route 66---which gets us to one of the puzzles of retirement planning…what he wants versus what she wants.

Planning in Tandem

            If you are a partnered person, you’d better check out your plans with your other half, because he or she may be thinking of staying home, raising llamas and meditating in perfect quiet. You, on the other hand, may want to travel far and wide with a brass band in an old school bus, giving concerts in wayside parks all across America.

            Don’t laugh. People have very different retirement movies in their heads. One mate wants to head to remote deserts---peace at last---while the other wants to live downtown where it’s happening. One wants to spend money down to the last dime, while the other wants to forego present spending pleasures and save for a rainy day.

            And when it comes to family, some want to live near the kids, others have been there, done that and want to move to Mexico. Or, one wants to be the designated baby sitter, the trophy grandparent, while the other says, enough of diapers, spit-up and school recitals, this is the time for Us, not Them.

            So start talking with your partner. Better to fight---I mean negotiate---today rather than later when you find yourself trying to meditate in the middle of the brass band.

Planning for money

            I know, all the money that should be going to your 401k is going to Exxon. But you will need more than Social Security to survive at a decent level. However, when it comes to multiple sources of income, lucky are those among us who have pensions---a disappearing concept---or retirement funds that are not sinking---or houses that are not losing their value.

            Well, all any of us can do today is the best we can.

            If you want an economical way to invest and are up for the risk that goes with investing, look to Vanguard, the favorite of retirees everywhere for its low-cost investment vehicles. Not that you can’t lose money there. It’s just that Vanguard doesn’t charge an arm and a leg to buy into one of its stock or bond funds. They also have sensible investing info: www.vanguard.com.

             If you would to like to become more literate about money, read The Little Book of Common Sense Investing by John Bogle and Women & Money: Owning The Power to Control Your Destiny by Suze Orman.

Planning for work

            The age of eligibility for Social Security will probably be pushed up even more and that SS income won’t be enough anyhow, so be prepared to stay in the work force until you are old enough to be on the Today show’s Smucker’s jam jar. Most Boomers already sense this scenario and plan on working as older adults.

             What kind of jobs they will find is another story. I’ve met highly educated retired teachers in the checkout line packing my groceries. To get around the hiring issues---low-paying jobs and employers prejudiced against older adults----some people plan to start their own businesses when they get older, or sell their crafts or offer their services part-time. And later life may be the time to buy that franchise or start that store…any smart enterprise that will float your financial boat.

            Now, if you love your work, keeping on with it into old age is a dream come true---seriously. Good work is a keystone of worth, a link to the rest of the world and a way to keep our brains from turning into tofu.

            So bottom line: develop some kind of plan for your later years. You don’t want to arrive in Geezerland without a suitcase full of ideas.

            But getting a Harley is not a full-fledged plan and Cranky Pants tells me a spring tour of Greek temples isn’t one either.

            Darn.

This Gas Is Free

I’m full of hot air. So are you. Specifically, we’re full of nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen and the bracing air of cow pastures everywhere, methane. Experts say it’s normal to emit gases up to 20 times a day from a body outlet of your choice, so what you are doing in secret (or in public if you are outgassing freely) is probably normal.

            Still, you may want to know what to do to reduce gas---there are surprising causes of gas----and what to do if you find yourself so full of it, you fear taking off into the air like a helium balloon.

            Also in today’s lesson, we’ll learn when to see a doc about our gassy selves. But if you just want to know a little more about the mysteries of your digestive system, the government offers a handy online piece called: What I Need To Know About Gas.

            This is true---just Google it. The pamphlet will give you the basics about gas, which is not always a joke, but really a problem for some people, the ones whose gas imitates the pain of appendicitis or whose gas lodges in their chest imitating a heart attack---all of which the poor souls find out only after a trip to the ER.

 

Gas Lessons

            Here’s the info that the feds and other sources like the Mayo Clinic think you should know about burping and what they all delicately call rear end emissions, flatus. (Many articles are written about passing gas, but the other F word is not mentioned. So, never one to break new ground when it comes to irritating delicate readers, I will continue to write nicey-nicey and call these emissions flatus. You translate.)   

 

What Causes Gas?

            Yes, beans, but different people have different triggers. Some triggers are broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes and asparagus. Other people react to pears, applies and peaches. Still others react to whole wheat and bran. And then some who are lactose intolerant may become gassy after ingesting dairy products or packaged goods that contain milk such as bread, cereal and salad dressings.

            Carbonated drinks---think of them as pre-gassed liquids---are another culprit. So beer and sodas may be the engines of your gas factory.

            Antibiotics can also turn on the gut gas machine. (Many docs recommend yogurt with live cultures as a fix to the problem.)

 

The Surprise Trigger

            As I was skipping through the jazzy information in the National Digestive Diseases Information Clearing House and the American College of Gastroenterology, I found that some experts believe these common sweeteners are triggers: sorbitol--- often used in products for diabetics---and fructose---a corn sweetener used in too many commercial products today---soft drinks, baked goods, even cottage cheese, yogurts and salad dressings. So look to these     stealth triggers if your mate is complaining about your constant burping.

 

Other Triggers

            Swallowing air gets air into your system, which is a duh kind of fact---air in, air out. Eating slowly helps cut down air intake. Chewing gum is supposed to be avoided, as is smoking and false teeth that don’t fit, though I don’t get the logic of that last one. Drinking through a straw also puts air into the gut. So drinking beer through a straw while chewing gum and wearing bad dentures is probably a no-no. You heard it here first.

            Seriously, the bottom line to all this: cut down on the foods and drinks that you are sensitive to and reduce the amount of air you swallow.

            The National Institutes of Health also suggest relaxing while you eat and walking for 10 or 15 minutes after a meal. People from Europe get this—walking in the town square after a slow food meal.

 

Uncomfortable Bloating

            Gas lodged in the gut can be uncomfortable or even painful. Some products may help. The Mayo Clinic advises products with simethicone such as Gas-X or Mylanta. They also recommend trying Beano, or peppermint tea or activated charcoal like CharcoCaps. Sometimes these products are effective… sometimes not.

 

When to See A Doctor

            Gas releases from the human body are normal, but if they are accompanied by any of these symptoms, see a health professional:

            Vomiting, persistent abdominal pains, diarrhea, weight loss, bleeding and sometimes, heartburn.

            So there you have it---The Little Story of Gas and if you’ve been worried about releases a dozen times a day, don’t. It’s just your gut bacteria having a party. And the next time your friends chide you for F & B---Flatus and Burps--- tell them that if we weren’t meant to do it, we wouldn’t have been born with two handy dandy release valves.

                        Mel Walsh is a gerontologist and certifiable geezer. Her book of advice for older women, Hot Granny, is available at The Book Seller in Gras Valley and online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Getting Around (No Matter What)

I kiss my cane. At least I used to when it helped me get out and about instead of stuck at home with a bum hip. I also once loved a walker, though my relationship with crutches after a ski injury was more love-hate.

            What these things have in common is that they are assistive devices. But, if ever good things have a negative image among the populace, it’s assistive devices. People don’t like the thought of using them.

            I hear this a lot:  If I use a cane or walker, people will think I am old. Given that a recent national poll indicates there is more prejudice against older people than any other group, I can see the reasoning behind not wanting to look old. Who wants to get run over by a heavy stereotype?

            But and however, it’s time the stereotyping of older people got zapped by the reality that older doesn’t mean done in or finished. It means experienced. And my hope is that experience will teach smart older people that it is far better to use assistive devices to get out of the house than to stay home watching TV re-runs. First-run living is better than re-run fiction.

            Here are a few ideas for re-gaining physical freedom:

            Canes: If you need a bit of help maintaining stability or taking weight off a limb, consider canes. They worked for Fred Astaire. Today’s canes come in more fashionable styles so they lose that sour medicinal look. Still other canes fold—great for travel---and some are gorgeously carved. Or, you can do what I did when I once needed a cane: buy a plain one and decorate it yourself. I cut out travel images from wrapping paper and used a little glue-like Hodge Podge to glue the pictures onto the cane. I could have sold that cane dozens of times to people who loved its jauntiness. For more ideas and products, go to www.fashionablecanes.com or www.houseofcanes.com.

 

            Walkers: These have gone the way of baby strollers. They used to be plain, functional and cheap, but have now gone upscale---almost into the lifestyle statement category.

            The original design still does a good job---supporting people on three sides as they get out and about. If you ever used one of these after surgery, you know how helpful they are. With just two front wheels, they are also light, fold easily and can be tucked into a car without effort.  But they are almost all designed to be dull. Rich, rich will be the first manufacturer that wakes up and smells the Boomers. There will be Elvis walkers, rainbow walkers and walkers with green leaves on them. 

            Some of the newer walkers---aka rollators---are far better looking---think Racing Green---have four wheels---think off-road----and added functions. Most of all, they have a seat, a great boon, for it means one’s walking range is extended. A person can get out to a fair or festival and have his own seat with him when he gets tired. There’s also a basket for a purse, sweater, water or small groceries, so you can take your stuff along. Very cool.

            Heads Up: People need to be sure to set the brakes on the newer walkers before they sit down, so the more advanced walkers with brakes may not be the best choice for an older person who can’t remember things. Also, many walkers are adjusted too low, so the people using them are hunched over, squishing lungs, ruining posture and making them look like what they don’t want to look like---old.

            Warehouse clubs carry walkers as do some pharmacies that stock heavy duty medical supplies. Online, check out www.planetmobility or www.cane-n-able.com.

If You Want to Jazz Up Appearances

            People who get around regularly in wheelchairs have learned how to dress and accessorize to show they are not dead to the world. Those using other assistive devices might follow their lead. So forget the stereotypical older person’s wardrobe. (Those wearing beige cardigans will be sent to the principal.)             Instead, wear a baseball cap in a bright color. Sport a tee shirt that proclaims something funny or eye-catching. Cranky Pants sports one that says Older Than Dirt. Who knows what he’ll escalate to if he ever gets a walker? Wear a bright bandana. Hang a license plate on the back.

            Try a little outrageous geezer behavior. If not now, when? Flirt with the sex of your choice. Nobody arrested an old person for winking. (I never understood why older men are called ”dirty old men” for behavior that makes younger men “studly”.)

            Last, use everything you can to keep on keeping on. Whatever it is or whatever it looks like, your assistive device is doing you a favor. You don’t have to kiss it, but “appreciate” may be the appropriate word.

Housework: Breathing Easy

You have a matched pair, all pink and pretty and I want you to keep them that way. I refer to your lungs, your portable oxygen tanks. You don’t see them and if you are lucky, you don’t hear them, though people with asthma hear them far too often.

            Wheeze, wheeze.

            You already know that smoking isn’t good for your lungs, but did you know that cleaning sprays were connected to a 30 to 50 percent increased risk of asthma? One study of the subject involved 3,500 people from 10 countries and was published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine. Researchers found that the regular use of sprayed fresheners, furniture cleaners and glass cleaners was linked in a significant way to breathing difficulties.

            I’ve noticed this phenom in spades---spray an air freshener or a cleaner---have trouble breathing---that’s my experience and my unscientific experiment of one. So if you’ve had your own experiment of one or are paying attention to the experiment with 3,500 other people, you may want to know what to do besides leaving the house a mess and smelling like yesterday’s boiled cabbage.

Green Cleaning

            Luckily, there are simple products that work and are deemed to be green, safe and friendly. They are the things your great grammy used, vinegar and baking soda being the stars of the eco-lineup.

            But and however, I don’t know if we older people have exactly been the first adopters of safe cleaning methods. I sense that our kids and their kids got out of the starting gate faster than we did. We are the Chlorine Generation, disinfecting everything that moves under a microscope with products sporting the phone number of a poison control center, products that little grandkids could take out from under the sink and investigate at their peril.

            But better late than never, and here are two safe cleaning recipes from the public health section of the King County website in Washington State, www.metrokc.gov/health/asthma/facts/greencleaning.html:

            Tub and sink cleaner. Sprinkle baking soda on the porcelain fixtures and rub with wet rag. Add a little liquid castile soap to the rag for more cleaning power. Rinse well to avoid leaving a hazy film.

            Drain cleaner. This recipe will free minor clogs and help prevent future clogs. Pour ½ cup of baking soda down the drain first, then ½ cup vinegar. Let it fizz for a few minutes. Then pour down a teakettle full of boiling water. Repeat if needed. If the clog is stubborn use a plunger. If very stubborn, use a mechanical snake.

            There are several other simple cleaning recipes on this web site, including the use of vinegar and water in a spray bottle to clean glass. Actually, I just dump some vinegar on my glass dining room table and rub it around. I use white or apple cider vinegar and the smell evaporates quickly.

Stale Rooms, Safe Fresheners

            Some of us now live in fairly modern well-insulated houses, no fresh air coming in through chinks in the log cabin walls. This is good for our utility bills, but sealed rooms keep in all the gunky dead air. So open those windows and doors and let the fresh air in and out. Air is a great air freshener.

            If you want a flower scent, grow or buy some lavender for potpourri and, when the scent gets weak, refresh with essential oil of lavender.  I’ve also boiled cinnamon sticks in water on the stovetop for a few minutes. Last, I’ve tried to tell Cranky Pants that home-made oatmeal cookies are not the best way to make the indoor air fragrant, but he says cookies don’t cause asthma.

Words for the Wise           

            Green living is a BIG subject and covers far more than cleaning products and air fresheners. A book that gets raves in the Amazon online reviews is “Easy Green Living: the Ultimate Guide to Simple, Eco-Friendly Choices for You and Your Home”. Author Renee Loux is the host of TV’s “Easy Being Green”. Her book shows how to switch to a green lifestyle and how to make safer choices in all kinds of household products. As the review says, she is making the world safer, one cleaning spritz at a time.

Ever wonder what it would be like have one hundred candles on your birthday cake? I mean besides setting off the smoke alarm.

            Well, wanting to hit 100 years old seems to be a universal goal…but with this footnote: ”as long as I’m healthy”. Or ”as long as my money holds out”.  And then my own personal footnote: “as long as Turner Movie Classics are still running on cable TV”.

            Give me Clark Gable or give me death.

            But seriously, folks, most of us are curious about what it’s like to live a century. One of the curious is author Neenah Ellis who went around the country interviewing centenarians for a series on National Public Radio, a series that turned into a book, IF I LIVE TO BE 100.           

            Neenah’s interest was not only professional---doing a broadcast series about old people---it was personal. She wanted to know what it would be like to reach 100 herself.

            Well, she didn’t discover many useable rules: They didn’t all eat tofu or drink whiskey every day or down carrot juice in the morning. But some still rowed boats, taught students, painted, got married or danced the waltz with long-time spouses. One was a frequent guest lecturer on what it means to be gay and 100 years old.  One was a preacher who told Neenah that the end of the world was coming soon. That didn’t stop him from marrying a younger woman in her eighties after the NPR interview. (Hey, if you’re going to die, you might as well do it with someone compatible and pat-able.)

            And that late life marriage in the face of a short future symbolized how several of the centenarians viewed their lives. They seized the day. Carpe diem was their motto, a goal that makes super sense when your birthday is in the low three figures.

So How Do People Get To Be So Old?

            Now if you have ever entertained a vision of yourself at 100, being asked at your birthday party how you got to be so old, you are on to something. That is what happens…The Question. Everybody wants to know how people live to be 100, probably so they can get there too, escaping the final curtain as long as they can.

             But at least one of Neenah’s subjects got a little jaded about this question. Too many people had asked it. And she also thought people wanted to hang out with her only because she was old, not a good enough reason to her thinking.

            What I took away from the interviews is that some people have no idea how they arrived at an old age. It just happened, one day after another until the days all piled up to 36,500 plus. (Me, I have no idea how I got to be lucky enough to have silver hair, when so many I know died before their gold turned to silver.)

Is There a Secret?

            The one rule of life that probably applied to most people interviewed was this: They, in one way or the other, knew the importance of emotional contact with mates, friends, family, neighbors, students or an audience. The interviews added up to a reaffirmation of the universal need of humans for connection and close contact.

            So then, if the love of others is one of your higher goals for now and for the future, unpack your heart and take it out for more emotional exercise. Hug someone today. Tell them I sent you. And commit some acts of kindness, random or not. Write a pleasant letter or email. Pick up the phone and make that delayed call. Pinch a bottom. Make sure the bottom belongs to someone you know well. And maybe all these acts will help get you to 100.

            Actually, gerontology research indicates emotional satisfaction gained from human relationships is an important part of a happy old age and is connected to longevity. People who need people and so forth. You know that song already.

 If You Want to Know More

            Neena Ellis’ book is IF I LIVE TO BE 100. Other related books are: HEALTHY AT 100: THE SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN SECRETS OF THE WORLD’S HEALTHIEST AND LONGEST–LIVED PEOPLE, by John Robbins and THE 100 YEAR LIFESTYLE by Eric Plasker.

            Last, I hope you’ll invite me to your party when you hit 100 and I fervently wish the RSVP will come from earth rather than any higher perch in the universe.

Medicaring: A Few Newer Things

Did you hear the story about the geezer who was asked his opinion about government funding for health care? He said: “Medicare is working fine for me, so I don’t want the government getting involved and messing it up.”

            Well, you and I know Medicare is THE government health care funding program for older folks. It is involved in almost every aspect of seniors’ health care. When older people need a new hip, a cataract operation or want to see a doc about a hitch in their getalong, their medical adventures are heavily financed by Uncle Sam.

             Sam got into the medical business back in 1965 when President Lyndon Johnson signed Medicare into law as part of his Great Society program. Ex-prez Truman was the first one to sign up. That was fair as it was Truman who first proposed that the federal government become involved in health care. But Truman had to wait 20 years for it to happen and then, the program was not the universal care he wanted, but benefits just for us older folks.

            So who knows how long it will be before all our citizens have such good access to health care? (Myself, I feel a bit guilty that my age group is the only one singled out as worthy of help in the health arena, though Medicaid did eventually come on board for those without much money.)

New Medicare Happenings

            If you could see your TV set through the smoke in the last few weeks, you learned that Congress passed a new Medicare bill over President Bush’s veto. Without this new bill, doctors’ fees would have been cut over 10%. But Congress was nagged---I mean lobbied---by the likes of us. Plus it is an election year and we oldsters are famous as voting types, so the cut got cancelled.

            And, though not much talked about, this bill had other provisions that will affect Medicare recipients. These are the things the new bill will do for you:

·               Reduce out-of-pocket expenses for mental health visits. Mental health clients will eventually have the same co-pay as other visits---20%, not the present 50%. (If you are bi-polar or have other common brain disorders, this change will save you a lot of money.)

·               Give a slight boost to preventive care. You will now have 12 months to get a physical after entering the Medicare program. Present limit is 6 months. So there will be more time to make that appointment to get checked out.

·               Boost payments to doctors who use electronic prescriptions, rather than the written ones that are easily misunderstood. So this new development should be a step towards your greater safety. Only about 40,000 doctors use e-scripts now. And, if they don’t get with the 21^st century, they will begin to get their fees docked by the government.

·               Last, Medicare will pay for anti-anxiety drugs like Valium and Xanax, but not until 2013, so if you worry before then, you’re on your own.

More on the Washington Horizon

            Candidate McCain has been bringing up an idea that President Bush could not get through and that is the idea of privatizing Social Security---having people invest privately for their own retirement. I would bet McCain will have an especially rough time selling this idea now when the financial markets are rocky, banks are failing, and the economic forecasts not cheery.

            Expect a lot of debate on this issue between the parties. Me, I’d bet the idea of privatization will fail again, but I won’t bet very much.

            I need the dough for my retirement and really, given the present return on bank CD’s, I am not sure I can wait five years for the government Valium. 

Emotional Health: Keep Your Bucket Full

 

            Pretend you carry around an invisible bucket. When it’s full, it represents your positive vibes. Empty, your morale has gone bust. Now the job is to fill that bucket with fresh water to keep the morale plumped up and your well-being deeply hydrated.

            How to keep the bucket filled? Do what you love, be with people who accept you so broadly---opinion warts and all----that you don’t have to watch your mouth. Nice too if they love you and you love them. Also good for the morale to have a place that feels like a sanctuary. Some call this home. Others call it Nature. Still others call it the neighborhood pub. Doesn’t matter. Whatever relaxes. Wherever you don’t have to watch your back. Whatever fills your invisible bucket.

            Then consider what and who will drain that precious bucket. What will dry up the water, empty the juice, leave the pail full of dust and spider webs? A job you hate, people who make your spirit dry and itchy, the feeling you have no real home refuge. And here’s the self-generated desiccator: feeling sorry for yourself.

Poor Me

            There probably isn’t a person on earth who hasn’t one time or other felt sorry for himself, often with good reason. Who hasn’t felt shoved off the good luck trail, thinking that everyone else was dancing on the path, you the only one without a map and limping along in the brush?

            Older adults have even more reason to revert to the poor me trap. Reaching full maturity---aka the falling apart stage---we suffer cataracts, bad knees, low energy, hips that don’t work, joints that talk and feet that show their mileage. We are more vulnerable to heat, cold, smoke inhalation, poverty, insomnia, feelings of uselessness and certain dark thoughts like wondering when we’ll fall off the conveyor belt of life into eternity. (Some even worry once they’re plopped into eternity whether they‘ll be taking the up or down elevator.) But none of these thoughts or conditions will fill our bucket. Indeed, they can punch holes in the pail.

Stopping the Morale Leaks

            There are three secrets to happy aging and keeping the bucket full. One is to stop worrying about physical decline and do something either to prevent or fix whatever is driving you crazy. Modern surgery does wonders with eyes, hips and knees. Exercise and good nutrition--- plus avoiding processed foods with weird ingredients and high fructose levels---should promote health and increase energy levels. In other words, a lot of what ails us is manageable.

            The second secret is gratitude. When the levels are down emotionally, see the bucket as half full, not half empty. Be grateful that you actually have what you have. I know that is a platitude, an old saw, but clichés got to be clichés because they are true. Few things are as good for the morale as giving thanks for the good things you enjoy, whatever they may be.

            Now here’s a true cornball story about gratitude: Every morning I walk down the driveway to pick up this paper and I think of it as my Lucky Walk. I hear the birds doing their morning chirps and think I am Bird Lucky. I look at what’s growing and think I am Plant Lucky, more specifically, Lavender Lucky. I pick up the paper and think I am Writing Lucky. (Look, people actually read what I write. How absolutely lucky is that?)

            Next, I see the houses in either side of me and think about the people who live there and know I am Neighbor Lucky. And so it goes. On those mini-walks, I am also Goat Lucky, Horse Lucky and even Chicken Lucky because my neighbors not only love people, they love animals that I can enjoy without having to clean the barn. One might say I am even Horse Pucky Lucky.

            So those little walks can set the theme for the day: gratitude, especially global gratitude for the sheer miracle of being alive, breathing on a small dirt clod hurtling through space at muchmillion miles per hour, heading who knows where. The trick is not to care where, but just be happy for the ride.

            Now, the third secret…well, I forget. But then I am allowed to forget as I am practically old enough to have dated Cro-Magnon men. But I do remember that your job and mine is to keep our buckets full and share the overflow.

            Look around. Many folks are wandering around with dry pails. So throw a little water on someone today.  It’s a sure way to fill your own bucket. 

Thinking Smart, Thinking Ahead

Second Wind

            Some day you and I will be over the hill. And I say better over the hill than under it.

            Still, the fact is that sometime, when we are a bit more frail and doddery, we may need help to remain independent in our own homes. And if the body and energy falter, it’s helpful and sometimes necessary---to have someone do the driving, shopping, cooking, home repairs and all the other chores of life. It’s also nice when you are sick to have someone bring chicken soup and the pain pills du jour and of course the ice packs after your annual bad fall in the garden. And then there is the basic need for human contact, for pleasant company, for someone to nag and be nagged by---one way to know you are loved.

            I know, all that is what you have a mate for, but couples do not dive into Eternity in sync. It’s not a synchronized event—one always leaves earth before the other, which is a sobering thought, though it can be used to help appreciate your mate more now---absence making the heart grow fonder before the actual absence.

            What’s more, when it comes to counting on mates for help, many older people are not only widowed, but single through choice or divorce. Some are also childless or alienated from their children, so no caring kids are coming to the rescue if one does begin to falter in the life chores department.

             In yesteryear, the old folks and the young folks lived together---my widowed grammy shared my bed when she was old---but today, the middle manager son is transferred to the other coast, the daughter married and moved to Maui and the black sheep kid lives in Thailand and not for the weather. And even if the adult kids were still around within helping distance, most older people I know don’t want to be a burden.

            Like two-year-olds, we want to do it ourselves. Or maybe with a bit of help from other sources.

One New Source to the Rescue           

            So, assuming your family may not be the solution or even the one you want… and assuming you and I do not have a butler, driver, maid and handyperson on our household staff, we will need help and so will millions of other people in the US. And, mirable dictu---which means No Kidding in Latin---there is actually a solution to our needs, something that is happening quietly all over the country,

Making Your Own Extended Family

            The solution, already a reality in some places, is to invent an area support group, a “village” in your town. It means getting together a membership organization of older people that offers the following services: driving to appointments or shopping, getting the house repairs done, cleaning, help with housework, care when you’re down and out physically plus nutrition services---which often means meals delivered to the door.

            The model for this solution comes from Beacon Hill Village in Boston. The neighbors there got together and organized to help each other survive as older adults in their own homes. The Village offers household and home maintenance services, health and wellness help, including exercise opportunities. And since isolation can be a problem for older people, they also arrange small get-togethers, parties and trips as well as cultural opportunities for expanding minds and life experience. All in all, they say they want to make “remaining at home a safe, comfortable and cost-effective solution.”

            Through media exposure, people all over the US heard about Beacon Hill Village. They had so many requests for information about organizing this service for older adults that they now have a detailed handbook that covers all the how’s of starting a membership organization.

            The manual, which can be ordered by mail, phone or online offers help from the founders, the original business plan, marketing materials, fundraising letters, board and committee structures, budgets and ways to help you develop your own Beacon Village. The price for this package is $350 for non-profits and neighborhood groups or $500 for profits and municipalities.

            The web site is www.beaconhillvillage.org and the email is bhvillage@aol.com. Phone: 617-723-4117. Address: 74 Joy Street, Boston MA 02114.

            Doesn’t all this sound better than counting on Black Baa to come back from Thailand to pick up your meds at the drug store? Besides, he might make off with your pain pills.