Mel Walsh

The Gratitude of Geezers

     Have the holidays cooked your goose? Are you fatigued, burned-out and down in the dumps? Now do you understand Scrooge better than you understand Tiny Tim?

These are all symptoms of Post-Holiday Stress Syndrome and if they describe you, here is a quick rundown of blessings to pat your attitude back into shape for the new year.

Things to be thankful for, or why we older adults are lucky ducks:

 * The move to privatize Social Security ended up in the political trash heap. Aren’t you glad? At this writing, the stock market is down around 40% for the year.  That dull old Social Security check never looked so good.

* The longevity revolution. The people in the US have picked up about 30 extra years of life in the last 100 years. Those smallpox vaccinations and various shots plus public health measures such as clean water systems have worked their magic. Now you and I might grow old enough to meet our great grandchildren before we meet Our Maker.

* The bionic geezer. Through the courtesy of titanium and various plastics, we can get our parts replaced when they wear out. So when bones break down, in we go to the body shop for repairs. Joint replacements keep many of us active and out of wheelchairs. Our grandparents didn’t have this medical luxury.

* Medicare. Some take this program of medical care and hospitalization for granted, but if every age group in the country had the medical coverage we older people do, we’d finally have health care for all. So here’s to extending the honor.

* Help with hearing. It’s no fun to lose your hearing, but the many kinds of hearing aids now available can put people back in touch with their lives, their mates and their TV sets. (Note: if you think Wolf Blitzer is mumbling, get a hearing test.)

* Help with seeing. Many blessings upon the eye care experts and the cataract surgeons. Eye care is miraculous now and here’s just one personal example:  If you have cataracts as I once did, the world can look like the brown-varnished paintings of the Old Masters. So imagine going in for cataract surgery and coming out to find the world really isn’t a Rembrandt painting. It’s brighter. Much more Matisse.

* New attitudes about retirement. Old notions of retiring to Bingoland are being replaced by ideas of unretirement, of switching to new careers and finding new passions. We don’t have to go out to pasture anymore.

* New attitudes about physical ability. The idea that older people belong in rocking chairs is being replaced by the idea that we belong on hiking trails, in gyms or competing in senior class athletics.

* The advent of the Internet and Google. The whole world is now ours to access. Just for starters, Google can help people search for a rental, make air and land reservations, look up medical info, find a classmate, a recipe, a book, a fact, or a lover. You can start and run a business online, visit faraway places and find any number of new friends. Also, email keeps you in touch with the people you love. So, almost anything you want is available----literally at your fingertips. Even pizza and honey-baked ham.

*  This newspaper. Be thankful for The Union. It is one of the few papers that value older people enough to run a column especially for them. Even better, I find that all ages read this column, either to see what it’s like to grow older or to find information to share with their parents. Also, speaking of forward-looking media, many thanks to KVMR-FM, they who give me the opportunity to host the on-air version of Second Wind at 89.5. Not many community radio stations cover the far side of life.

Last, thanks to all who read this column every week. You fix my PHSS, my holiday burnout. And what better cure than to have people appreciate what you do? 

So, Happy New Year to geezers and geezers-in-training everywhere. 

Holiday: Version 2008

            It is the best of times and the worst of times. Most of all, it’s the weirdest of times. Who of us will forget 2008? It was the year of millionaires with limited means, a year when comedians took on serious political issues and politicians provided the comedy. Everything seemed back-asswards which tells me there’s only one way to set things right: Forget it all and celebrate the holidays with your family.

But wait! Weird things are happening there too. While the adults gather round the Yule log, the young people sit in the corner going tap, tap, tap. No, it’s not the sound of Santa’s workshop. It’s the sound of their little fingers texting away on their cell phones.

Here We Go A’Texting

Just so you’ll know what’s going on with the young people at the family gatherings this year, texting is sending short print messages from one cell phone to the screen of another cell phone. A message to ask about another’s welfare may come through as:  r u ok?

Text messages can be sent and received without a parent or grandparent hearing a ring. The real tipoff to what’s going on are the kids’ flying thumbs on the keyboard of a cell phone. Today’s youngsters know how to speed type at an astonishing rate with just their thumbs. But no surprise here. Their parents have Blackberries implanted in their thumbs,

Your Role as a Texting Chaperone

So what does texting mean to you as an older adult in the family holiday circle? Two things:

First, you should ask for a demo so you can see what the whippersnappers are up to these days. You don’t want to wander through life as a clueless geezer. While you are at it, ask them to show and tell you about Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, blogging and social networking. These things are the new form of online culture, the social lifeblood of your descendants. As your great-grandparents once socialized at quilting bees, barn raisings and square dances, your grandkids are getting together on their cell phones and computers.

Then the second thing: make a rule that’s in effect, not only on holidays, but whenever you get together. The rule is: No texting during meals. Also, no cell phones at the table, no electronic games, no listening to iPods. (Be alert: this can be done secretly with earbuds hidden under the hair.)

Bottom line: The focused presence of your young family members is requested. Nay, required. And so beginneth another lesson in family conversation---you know, talking to each other. And one sure way to get the attention of younger people is to begin telling stories about their parents. Better still, start telling stories on their parents.

Tips & Tricks

One good icebreaker at these semi-formal holiday meals: put a family photo or memento at each place. A old report card, a drawing, a vintage wind-up toy, a third grade class picture---I’ve used all of these and everybody gets a kick out of a nostalgic blast from the past.

Then sometime after dinner, call in the family computer expert, someone who is probably between the ages of 6 and 18, and have him or her clean up your hard drive, defrag your files and get you an up-to date browser. These young, very cool, very smart whizzes can help grandparents float on the rising waters of technology and keep us from digitally drowning.

I see this tech help as random acts of grandchild kindness. It’s enough to make me forgive them for texting their way through my yearly rendition of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. 

Dealing With Dark December

Baby, it’s dark outside. December does that to the light----which means it’s time to deck the halls with signs of seasonal affective disorder. Also on the psychological menu this season: CNN-induced depression and/or adrenaline fatigue brought on by too close an association with Mr. Dow and Mr. Jones. Whatever they’ve got, it’s catching.

But here’s my favorite inoculation for all of the above: Coziness, administered daily.

Am I crazy? A prescription for coziness? If I am nuts, entire cultures are crazy too. Take the Danes for instance. They have a word, hygge---pronounced hue-ga---that means coziness, warmth, togetherness, intimacy and happiness. And they know how to produce hygge. They have to. Denmark is so north, so dark in the winter and so in need of a bracing shot of the jollies come December.

In fact, I think the reason the jolliest holidays of the Northern Hemisphere were plopped into the middle of the darkest days of the year is the human longing  for coziness and comfort in the face of a disappearing sun. And, call me crazy again, but I think there’s a reason August has no jolly holiday. We’re so up after a summer full of sunshine, we don’t need the cultural uppers of official holidays. The sun does it for us.

Cozy Lessons

            Now some of us have an outstanding talent for creating an environment that is cheerful to the max. Others can use a few tips. Our homes aren’t dungeons, but we can use ideas about how to put psychological sandbags around the house to keep the downers from seeping in. 

            Here are just a few ways to achieve hygge:

            * Shut off the TV news. It highlights murders, fires, bombs, fear, imagined depressions and too many ads for Flomax. Read a good book instead. Do a hobby by the fire. Watch an old movie on TMC. Cook comfort food while listening to great music. Try meatloaf, shepherd’s pie, stew or hot soup.

* More light. Have breakfast by candlelight in the kitchen. Have a favorite lamp with an energy efficient bulb on a timer so it’s lit when you get up in the morning or get in at night. (The light can also keep you from tripping and falling on your whatsis.)

If you have seasonal affective disorder, get out in the sunshine, but also investigate the special bulbs and light boxes that combat winter downer moods.

            * Teas and other comfort beverages. Tea is my salvation as it was for the generations of women before me, all of whom thought any problem could be solved over a cup of Lipton’s. Tea-maker Stash has a great lemon ginger tea and Celestial Seasonings weighs in with a gingerbread spice holiday tea as well as another offering called Sleepytime Extra, the extra being 25 mg. of valerian, nature’s soothing herb.

            * Music. An instant mood modifier and relaxer, music is central to coziness. If you don’t have a sound system, turn on your cable TV and find the music channels. And there is always the favorite medium of us geezers, the radio. Or take an iPod to bed tonight…Sinatra on your pillow.

            * Keep warm. This is obvious to the level of duh, but there are people in my family who sit around in the winter shivering, no socks, shoes or slippers, no warm wraparound in which to watch TV.  At least it’s obvious what to give them as gifts---fuzzy slippers and adult blankies.

            Though it is not now fashionable, wearing warm hats inside makes sense because hats conserve body heat. Remember The Night Before Christmas with “momma in her kerchief and I in my cap”? Inside hats worked then. They work now. Ask Santa for a cashmere watch cap.

So now, please---you stay all cozy, especially if you are keeping the thermostat down to save energy. And you don’t have to spend a lot of money to buy new warm clothing. In fact---this is where I am crazy---in my home office, I use a mink stole I bought for ten bucks at a garage sale to keep warm while I write---very charming over a bathrobe. And I have a down bed jacket I bought at a consignment shop. I may not look chic, but honey, I am hygge.

            And the same to you.