I thought I lived in a house, but now know I was living under a rock---at least when it came to the great American institution of conventions. Until recently, all I encountered were the conventions put on by elephants and donkeys---the political conventions---which I discovered as a kid watching snowy TV pictures coming in under a set of rabbit ears.
Viewing
the vintage political conventions of both parties---well, that was when I starting
doubting the intelligence of adults---all those silly hats and the cheering of feel-good
speeches whose content was as light as a passing cloud. (I had a content
detector even back in 6th grade.) I thought some of the speakers
made Milton Berle look like Socrates. So, back in grade school, I developed a
prejudice against conventions. The behavior of conventioneering adults made me
not look forward to growing up.
The
Changing of a Mind
There’s
nothing like actual experience to change a mind harboring a fossil prejudice.
Last week, at the national convention of the AARP in Washington, I learned
there are interesting conventions, meetings where people actually learn things
and come out at the end better for the experience. OK, pooped from all the
walking and the over-stimulation of 30,000 new buddies, but better.
Maybe
I should get out of the house more, but I was blown away by the grandly scaled
and beautiful Washington convention center. Imagine an exhibition floor as
large as seven football fields and that was just the bottom floor. There were
others that harbored a ballroom and a theater, meeting rooms, lounges, grand
art-filled halls and most important, enough bathrooms so that one never ever
had to wait. (Men may not get this, but women know the importance of no-waiting
rest rooms.)
So
What Was There for the Learning?
What
wasn’t there? You could learn about budget travel and retiring abroad, about
foods that will keep you young, about fixing your digital photos and also about
online dating, cruising in China, senior sex from Dr. Ruth in person and so
much more, it would take all of today’s paper to relate. But if you wanted to
find your dream job, learn about current brain research, catch up on what’s new
in eye care, learn what to see in Ireland or where to take an art course in
Mexico, someone was there to tell you.
There
were sections on tech---computers lined up classroom style if you wanted to
learn to use one better (or at all). Also, representatives from about every government agency you
could name, plus info on Medicare literacy, financial smarts, building
communities for successful aging and lots of fun stuff besides. Example: There
was a three-band night club the first evening just to get people rocking and
rolling, but by dinnertime all I wanted was a room service cheeseburger and
bed. (If there is a late night party to poop, just ask me.)
Celebrity
City
Now,
if you wanted to see Paul Simon in concert or perhaps Natalie Cole, Ramsey
Lewis or Chicago, you could. Regis Philbin was there as were Shirley MacLaine,
Maya Angelou, Quincy Jones and the newly famous Young@Heart Chorus, average age
81. Martina Navratilova was present to start off your morning with a fitness
session and Chaka Khan was there to sing goodnight. Even Grass Valley has its reps:
Both Carole Carson and I gave speeches and were interviewed by John Palmer on
Retirement Living Television, though the expo was so big, Carole and I never
saw each other.
I
did get to meet about 1,894 other people, mostly at Gallo’s Livingston Cellars
booth, where, as a spokesperson, I helped introduce many Easterners to the
virtues of California wine and, as an author, inflicted all who showed up with
my book, Hot Granny. I also met the people who run AARP publications, so now
there are faces on the masthead names that put together the magazine appearing
regularly in our mailboxes.
But,
by Saturday afternoon, with a tropical storm adding its own excitements, people
began tearing down the hundreds of exhibits on the Expo floor. It was as if an
entire city was being dismantled. However, like Brigadoon, AARP’s National
Event and Expo will rise again in 2009---this time in Las Vegas.
So,
next year, I’m saving October 22-24 for a (gulp!) convention. You can find out
more at aarp.org/events or call 1-800-883-2784.
And
now I’ve got to go vacuum my office. The floor is littered with discarded
opinions.
